“You can do anything you set your mind to it, man.”
So I did….
I am going to tell you all a very personal story about one of my heroes, Eminem/Slim Shady/Marshall Bruce Mathers. When I was at my low point of mental illness, hiding from people knocking on my door behind the couch because the paranoia and disbelief of reality had its hooks within me.
I had enough, I tried pills but I don’t think I took enough. I just wanted the pain to end and I didn’t think it could. By the way, I do not condone suicide in any fashion; I do not believe it is the weak way out as you need some massive guts to do it. I was at the end of my tether and I was sitting on the cold cramped messed up kitchen floor, a butcher’s knife in my hand and I was ready to stop it all.
My friend had made me a mixed CD with some rock music, some chart music and some random album tracks. A D12 track came on seconds before and Eminem’s verse started. All I heard from the living room was his voice saying “I ain’t having anyone rappin’ who ain’t had a slappin’.” I subconsciously thought that I had one of the biggest life-slaps imaginable and here I am, as low as I can be. LIGHT-BULB!
I have had a messed-up life – I have lived on the drug filled streets and hung with the dudes and here I am with a condition that is about to eradicate me. Why don’t I write? I was always great at writing when I was a kid and won some writing awards. I could begin a new life as a rapper/writer become rich and famous and get out of this place and become just like Eminem.
Thank you, Eminem. We may never meet but I would like you to know that you saved my life.
So there I was studying rap music, perfecting my style. I worked from Eminem to D12. D12 to 50 Cent. 50 Cent to Nas. Nas to Jay-Z. Jay-Z to Kanye West. So on and so forth until I knew everyone and I had studied their unique styles of storytellings to music.
But I was writing towards something, something more than myself. As a mental patient, I sent Eminem some of my lyrics along with a letter telling him what he had done. I don’t think he got it, I never received a reply. So I carried on, I started battling people and winning respect for my innuendo style and quick wit.
I soon came to the conclusion when I mastered my style. Just because I can rap does it give me the right too, as it is a predominately black music. I didn’t stop, I just put it on ice, rhymes were no long keeping the demons at bay any longer; I needed a new way out. So I began Screenwriting, I was between jobs and needed money or I will fall back on a growling stomach for months. I was doing so well. I mastered my screenwriting after only a few months, got a job stacking shelves, money flow. So now I can write Songs, poetry, screenplays, novels and short stories. That is only for fun.
But I will never forget what Eminem did for me. He saved my life, even if he only turned on the light. I am no longer in the darkness, well I am in and out every now and again but I have a better hold on it. For that I would like to thank him, his music influences my writings so much too.
One day I will become big enough to shake this man’s hand. You will not know this but from his music he has taught me when I write too. “Write in-between the lines, they help to fill in the gaps were people tend to read, see or hear.”
- Olly Murs ‘inspired by Eminem’ (metro.co.uk)
- Skylar Grey Looks To Her Past For Eminem-Assisted ‘Don’t Look Down’ (923now.cbslocal.com)
- Eminem on Grooveshark (grooveshark.com)
- Skylar Grey Looks To Her Past For Eminem-Assisted ‘Don’t Look Down’ (mix941fm.cbslocal.com)
- Eminem In The Studio With Black Hippy (complex.com)
- “I say what I want to say and do what I want to do. There’s no in between. People will either love you for it or hate you for it.” ~ Eminem (eugenebbenton.wordpress.com)
- WHY I LOVE EMINEM AKA MARSHALL MATHERS – Volume I (thecultivationofbeauty.wordpress.com)
- ScHoolboy Q On Meeting Eminem (rapradar.com)