They made me so I couldn’t love you and love within the innocent moment is ultimate destroyer. I have been created for the purposes for a few; for their jobs to flourish when they jab in the meds, or the punching bag from the loved ones who are having a bad-day, or even the jump-stone for the surgeon women who like to play around with the heartstrings because they flutter as butterflies from relationship to relationship. I am damaged and this does not help.
Love is a wildfire so beautiful to look at but so dangerous if not contained. But my silent aggressors are watching, you do not see them but they see you as they live within me. Do not worry, death is only an extension of life, come help me deliver leaflets, hand in hand.
You will need Electric-Shock-Therapy now to get a beat from my dying heart. Welcome to Love in the Time of Mental Illness. This pen can make me lose my mind, again. A hug from me comes with a free strait-jacket, keep your distance. Perhaps my paranoid-schizophrenia is kicking up a fuss going head to head with another heart.
I wish for wishful thinking, but choking on this wishbone is my killer. So I wish for one more wish. I got you, now all I want is to keep you. I hold a new world for you within my shirt pocket. Within me is only without you; purely damaged. I hate this feeling of love; I know you’d leave one way or another. Hurt is all you really know what to give. It has happen before, so the paranoia becomes a pill that numbs the tongue and brings forth the thoughts of your betrayal. I should run from the pills as you have run from me. Now I am what you fear, I have been given a number/statistic, I now have no more name to give you in marriage. But I am mentally ill also I am a creative-writer, I can make one up.
I will be wed to this forever no more cheating on my illness with you. I have given into it this curse I can hex you with. Love is only a word…. And mental-illness is two.
- Link Between Creativity and Mental Illness Confirmed in Large-Scale Swedish Study (seattle-gadgets.tumblr.com)
- A Healed Mind (dearseamus.wordpress.com)
- Can A Man Change? (addictionandrecovery4u.com)