My Insane Scribbling

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My Insane Scribbling

Stones spread well through-out the land, as the temperature has dropped with the weight of a brick. Tears will freeze on your face for all time to laugh and point at; within your graveyard museum, I am waiting forever. Left on my knees, you took my ability to move on, shuffle or walk. My screams work willingly; this pen will make me lose my mind, again, you were my teacher.

An indestructible idea is moulded from the clay of skin that you have left cracked with the bubbles of beneath. Everyone is nobody and I am an alien sent to Earth to take on the pain people prick onto me. My heart is an endless cave, footsteps beat with the dance of escape.

You look upon me as someone who is shipping nowhere but even an unknown voyage arrives at a destination.

Committed to this addiction now, something so beautiful turns quickly into death. Kaleidoscopes of vibrant pills turn the viewer into a handful of pills, which transforms into a mouthful; the results are in as a pill problem.

Everything is falling apart, I can see the bones of reality; eyes – flay all that is real to me. A problem is born again. I am lost within this mind, found within the madness of my words. I pelt my way from rejection letter to relationship rejection, hope to hopelessness, literary to literary agents, the night and its loneliness is what I am left with. I will hide above these murky clouds one day. I used to believe as a child that when it rained someone died, now even my beliefs are all lies. I am so resilient today; I make up my own stories to destroy your beliefs, lots of laughs.

My mother speaks on behalf of my subconscious to make sure my choices are no longer wrong. When will I put this knife down? Trying to put an end to this endless life. Drunk spits at my mirror reflections. Alex; pick-up your whiskey bottle, write your life-out and toast to death. Congratulations, you are now evil.  You can now let your soul fall from your mouth and lock it within a jar with no air; shake it and threaten it with fire.

I need a sharper knife. You have opened your armour, dumb-wittingly, within the moonlight show this world a beast along with your love with the same mouth. Howl at the sun so there is no more night-time. Spiral your fingers around your throat like a suicidal snake, keep hold of that dream. Lash another wrist, lash another. What came first within my life, time or death? Cannot have one without the other, I guess they come from the same cut. We shall see soon.

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22 Comments

Filed under 2013, Author, Blog, Books, Fiction, Interview, Life, Literacy, Literary Agent, Mental Health, My Insane Scribblings, Random, Story, Uncategorized, Wordpress, Writer, Writing, Writing #2, Young Adult Fiction Short Story

22 responses to “My Insane Scribbling

  1. This may have been insane scribbling, but it was poetry to me! I really enjoyed it 🙂

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  2. Thanks for liking my post and appreciating the darkness. The More I detach myself from my sane self when I write the more interesting it becomes and it’s a great release.

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    • I know what you mean; from time to time. But when I am dragged back to the mental hospital kicking and screaming, sometimes I wish I was sane so I don’t have to go through it. The reality is, I am a Sociopath who has a passion for creative-writing. It’s also great to see other people along my same path.

      Keep your pen Busy! I want to see more darkness.
      Alex

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      • Thank you. I totally understand what you’re going through. I had a psychotic episode where my subconscious clawed my “best friend” Yeah, best friend? She’s more fucked than I am. Then I had the cops called on me and was committed for pulling a knife at someone’s apartment. I wound up in the psych ward that night, but not before I joked with the cops and slipped out of my handcuffs due to my tiny wrists. They didn’t find it as funny as I did when I said ” Uh, these came off”.

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      • But hey, what I have told myself a million times not a million highs in the world make the darkness worth it. Or does it???? Whew. Epiphany central over here. Hey, follow my 8tracks mixes.http://8tracks.com/sarasurreal/yesterday-you-found-me-lying-on-the-floor

        I had someone kill themselves over me because they couldn’t get a hold of me because I was so drunk I lost my phone. I found out it he took his life three days later. It has the song Stan in it. I think you might appreciate it.

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      • I wish there was a way I could talk to you personally. But, I have some questions. Whew.my email is sara.ribar@gmail.com. It’s just about my “condition” that I don’t think I am aware about.

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  3. “I will hide above these murky clouds one day. I used to believe as a child that when it rained someone died, now even my beliefs are all lies. I am so resilient today; I make up my own stories to destroy your beliefs, lots of laughs.”

    Oh yeah, even if it is all still lies you’re a good writer.

    I totally reamed some christian’s ass for liking one of my posts and she said that God chose us to hate people because of racism. Racism?! That’s it?! LOL.

    Peace out.

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    • I assure everyone to the people who do not know me, I am the mental patient. I spent years with onset of true evil. And the line in the My Insane Scribbling “I will hide above these murky clouds one day.” I meant it as becoming a dark-star. It’s all about the word play. And I have looked around your blog, you have some amazing talent.

      Keep your pen busy, Sara!
      Alex

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      • Thank you, Alex. I just try to go where the brain doesn’t want me to go. But it’s fucking pesky you know? Sometimes I feel like I just can’t stop it. But that’s what makes darkness creative, right? People love to be voyeurs
        .

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  4. This haunts me because I know it’s fictional. but I literally understand some of the references. You wouldn’t even believe me.

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  5. Pingback: My Insane Scribbling – love Mad | Fiction Writing For Teens & Adults

  6. Pingback: My Insane Scribblings #3 – Forgive Me | Fiction Writing For Teens & Adults

  7. Reblogged this on Adult & Teen Fiction and commented:

    My Insane Scribblings!! READ and LIKE!

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  8. Extraordinary piece, thank you.

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  9. I love it when you do these reblogs of pieces I haven’t read before. Safes me from wandering on your blog all night! 😉
    Great writing Alex. I can relate.
    Lots of love and hugz ❤

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  10. prosemachine

    Yeah, we’re all crazy. Some are just better at hiding it than others.

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  11. I really like how you express yourself! There’s power in your words that dig deeper to the soul than a knife ever could.

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