Category Archives: Relationships

Breaking Bad Love


Breaking Bad 'ABS' edition

Breaking Bad ‘ABS’ edition (Photo credit: crises_crs)

 

Breaking Bad Love

You may believe this is a story of another broken-heart, but you’d be wrong. This is a story about overcoming Drug Addiction. I hope this helps you…

These Breaking bad thoughts shimmer to the surface, living in a fantasy world where I shiver in the darkness within a false high. Doped up to the eyeballs, this is where I fall from the sky; this is where I’ve lost my mind, right on. Black rainbows of love whilst living in the dark, I’m not supposed to grow in the shadows of a drug. I can’t sleep at night; I love you too much to close my eyes, to close this chapter of our lives we share together. They tell me “One day at a time” but days are no longer my problem, it’s the seconds I circle around when I think of your last kiss. One more hit and I’m done with this. I say I am done with you, but I know deep down I live under you, amazed by the clouds you show me. I loved you and I believed in you so much, if I knew your plans I would have never taken your hand and runaway. You feel so good it should be illegal.

These love drugs are teasing me, they do not love me the way I love them. You leave me speechless and breathless; this is our dirty little secret which keeps me restless, I will never speak of this. Reality, she means nothing to me now, I’m in love with the voice and the feel of you. You’re the real eye-candy, I want to show you off but at the same time keep you to myself, you make me nail-bitingly selfish. It’s always the last time, but with every kiss feels like our first. I’m cheating on my basic motor-functions with you. This is my love letter to you, after this we will be done.

I can no longer tell what is real and what is not, this was your doing. This broken heart and endless turns within these covers will be my punishment for leading you down my path. Crying with a glass of water held by a shaking hand, you bring me no joy in doing this. Time to love what is good for me, not love what I want. A fresh breeze runs over my pale skin. I will no longer listen to the voices or even pick up that phone, I want my life back! I want pain, I want my talent back, I want my family and most of all I want my girlfriend; you stole this from me.

I know I will open up books in the future and see your devastating face as you destroy someone else’s existence. But they will have to pull through your chill by their selves, I cannot help. I must dump you now down the toilet of forever. I can hear you shouting “How will you survive without me?!” Do you really want to know how I will survive? …Like this, by myself. I’m going to get myself rich, buy myself a time-machine and throw you out before you got here, only so you know. Just like you, you won’t see me coming.

I’m clawing my way back to the light from your tantalizing siren love song, now I’m pissed off, no one can control this mental patient, I am ultimate; I will be forever. Life is my drug now and you mean nothing to me, it’s over now… leave.

 

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Filed under 2014, Articles, Author, Blog, Blogging, crazy, Creative Writing, Drug Addiction, Entertainment, Life, Literacy, Love, Mental Health, Misc, News #2, Poem, Poetry, Random, Relationships, Story, Uncategorized, Writer, Writing, Writing #2

For The First Time


i love us

So I was contacted by a friend online, naming no names (Jessica Barley) who has read most of my work and suggested that I put my talent to the test and write a short erotic story. Well I don’t read erotic stories so I’m not sure how well I have done. 50 Shades of Grey: Eat your heart out! Tell me what you guys think.

FOR THE FIRST TIME

Let us get lost now, lost in each other. He draws his index finger from her upper knee to the tip of her hazel skirt. She stares into the infinite possibility of bliss which may or may not overcome her as she holds in a bottom-jawed quiver which could let him know her thirst for just a little more. They both echo is each other’s peepers hoping the other would eventually set the fire for them to huddle around.

There were no games, no peer-pressure and no influence here in these moments, only the expression for want and animalistic behaviour. The whole world is empty as the young man drives slowly in for a kiss of life he has been searching for. The young lady’s eyelids close gradually as her plucked eyebrows rise to the occasion of love. The creature in her ravishes out from her as she wraps one of her hands around his upper back and other clutched to his hair on the back of his head. The love game has begun folks.

They fall for not quite forever, neither one backing down to the others advancements. Slight whimpers of cherishment dissolve away into the dim corners of the bedroom. The sun beams in through a crack in the curtains and basks a warm subtle glow over the couple. They part ways for a brief moment where the young man undoes his black jeans and removes his cardinal coloured shirt and the young lady unlatches her bra and the button on the back of her skirt. They were making sure this was no clandestine act.

He scoops her head up with one hand with such a force both their faces very nearly merge together, as she has become something the young man needs for the first time. The twosome begins to refulgent over the world as the rest of their clothes fall away into the twilight of nothingness matter, because nothing matter now; no dreams, words or situations… It’s the only time where time does not exist.

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I’m Losing Touch with Reality – Random Photos of me


pics of me for my blog 3

I tear into this page with terror,

I penetrate my fate with a diabolical pen,

Dip into my thoughts of blood-ink forever with this feather.

I go to work and put on an act,

I hold a girl only to get her in the sack,

I hold my tongue when people talk about me behind my back,

And I’m still crazy inside.

The horror scenes from my street cornered of crimes follow me to sleep,

Will I one day wake up dead?

Steal my pen!

Trouble has a way of stalking me,

Rocking me rapidly, attacking me, grabbing me, flooring me, throwing me, burrow below me,

My writing takes over to cause a supernova,

I’m taking no more of the same boring rota,

So get ready to see what I have become so far…

pics of me for my blog 4

I’m living forever, I will die as a blogging dead writer; the haze of pipedreams will eat my illumining soul and corrupt naturally my calm nature nastily. I’m flying off the walls as this is coming off my chest, as a child I ate crayons now as an adult I am chewing on the end of my pen, not much has changed. Maybe this writing business is for me, the page is laid out before me, puke. This website is my last stand and my words are my last resort, I catch-a-phrase and head back the way. Fill these pages with shock value to fill those pockets with evil money to enrich that soul full of peace, I need a piece please. I’m losing touch with reality because I’m thinking thoughts; won’t you step into my fantasy world?

Pics of me for my blog 2

I’m done praying for archaic change,

I’m changing lanes faster than I can age in the face,

Where I’ll be in five years?

A writer if it’s my fate, if only I don’t die here.

I only have a glimmer of hope,

A pencil sharpener to butcher words as I go,

I’m simply the best character I have every wrote,

Break my soul apart and turn my words into stone.

Tribal Tattoo

Standing in front of this mirror mimicking lip-syncing death-threats to myself, I’m living in a living hell. These pages give me the key to leave hells grip on me, now I will never fail now. This blog is my playground, if you push me, I am swinging! See these words through the world of a wonder. That’s why they call me Alex Kennedy, I write venomously but if you extract the remedy, you will live to see another day. True evil has no gender, so I think I shall wear the crown.

Pics of me for my blog 1

And to all who are down here reading this, yes, all of these pictures are me. I thought it was about time I showed my face. Haha! Alex

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If We Only Die Once, I Want To Die With You


If we only die once I want to die with you

If we only die once, I want to die with you. I had a dream of our perfect life together, holding hands in the midst of each other’s battles. If we are side by side we could conquer it all, we could be royal lovers in our ravishing dark land. Too much booze brings out our slurring kiss of life; me + you = us. Self-destruct with me and I promise you will not be alone in this world full of people.

I only have one heart so I can only share it with one other person; you! We have nothing else but this.  You give me life being around you, if you were to ever leave me the loneliness would be my serial killer every day. As time goes by and I haven’t seen your face in a while, I begin to think I could live without you but when you arrive in front of me, the feeling of loving something which is precise for my soul comes flooding back in. You do more for me than you know.

I love you, the term sounds so overused so let me just say I love us. Billions of people within this world and I haven’t met them all but there is one I cannot live without. I want to grow old and senile with you, forget you one moment and dance in our treasured memories the next. I stand a man upon this page ready to fight for love on its own battlefield. Over this past year my life has been about you, you haven’t gone that far from my mind but you always arrive at my door; your knock knocks me down. Something bigger than my ego and passion is at work. I know you and it is a love of stellar proportions. I can daydream of you for hours and hours, to the outside world I am living with a daze but inside myself I am building a greater future for us both, keeping our love alive. A man would go crazy without a proper woman.

I am being held by the angels; does that mean I am in danger? And now I can’t stay with you, I am afraid that death is my cure. Have I jumped my last stepping stone? Let myself in through heavens doors. Set forth from the light beyond, from the fight before I have to stay strong. Laying here, going, going, gone. Then being thrown in the darkest of holes, at the back of my home. My eyes I have to keep them opened, the reaper is soul shopping, he says “More often than none, you will be homed within that coffin.”  No! We could be together forever, until death do us part, I would go further than that just to protect both of our hearts. I would travel to heaven or even to hell, just so I can save you, my love, and make you my world. Now watch me deteriorate, as I feel all this weight, of looking fear in the face, seems like now we’re in a race, in this day and age, can’t be without the key to my cage, “What would they say if I wanted out?” They would say. “Alex, you are not seeing this straight, it is normal for you to be feeling this way.” To me, today, towards this world, keep me away.

Destiny is written within us all, each footstep is a word, each mile is a sentence and each life is a book, no matter how the ending the novel shall be finished.

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The Mother – Fight for the Kids


Hello dear readers, this is the roughly based story around my mothers struggle when we were kids. It is a follow on from the story “The Mother – Domestic Violence” (LINK IS BELOW)

She is the strongest person I know and I believe her story should be told to inspire and show what she has been through.

The Mother – Fight for the Kids

Slick to her core, empathy of love no longer lives in her body. Disassemble heart and box it back up, consciousness will be her dancing partner tonight. Her wisdom and keen eyes have kicked into focus all the tricks she is pulling.

Rushing from the fear of what he could do to her, looking over her shoulder her head and thoughts seems loose. As a nightmare he may jump out from a bush or turn a corner and drag her back into the depths of the shadows, trapped forever without a voice. She has already taken the first step to freedom; no longer will she look back and plead for a breath. Will a cluster of kids and the rustles of plastic bin bags, keeping it all together is all she has to contend with in this battle.

“C’mon guys, keep up; we’re almost there.” She delivers with quivering warm tone. Her watered up eyes quickly find a vent as she looks up to the heavens for a morsel of strength.

“Where’re we going?” Inquisitive Stephen pipes up, he was the smallest of the three but the others knew he was the smartest with his mind, when everyone talked he hung upon every word and took in everything as a sponge does. He was a Sagittarius; I know he has a side to him that he is not showing.

“We’re going to your Uncle Jay’s for a few nights.” The close air and emotional sniffles clams up her voice.

“What about all of our toys and the television?” The young one gargles his thoughts.

Sandie stops, dropping bags and kneeling down to his level. He sees the distress in her eyes but he over look it with a cunning grim smile; the other two toddle off slowly down the street.

“Stephen listen to me, I know you know there is more to all of this than the other two do. I am leaving your father; he is not a nice person to me and I cannot take it any longer. So if you were to look out for the other two, you would be helping me out so much.” A tear drips straight from her eyelid.

“I know I don’t like it when he hits you, I don’t like to see you crying; it makes me cry. The next time he tries to hit you, I will hit him and then he will stop.” Sandie could not believe what her youngest has just declared. She wraps her arms around him and keeps the flood of tears behind her squeezed eyes.

“One day I will kill him for you Ma’.” She faces up to him. “No, you do not talk like that, ever. I need you to be strong and keep all that anger inside and never show it; this is my fight for you all. Now c’mon, it just around this corner.”

The youngster takes hold of a bag, slightly dragging it across the floor while he holds onto her hand. The other two have a race back.

They arrive at the door step of Uncle Jay’s, she opens the door and shuffles the rambunctious kids in; at that instance a car swerves around the corner and mounts the curb, the door flings open and out steps her devastator, the children’s father. She stands tough but trembling inside, she chucks the bin bags through the doorway.

“You think you can just leave me without a word and think I won’t come take my kids off ya’!” He storms in his macho voice. His thunderous rumbling stampedes closer to her.

“You can hit me as much as you want, we are done with you; you don’t deserve to be a father!” She charges at him with her hands out, he hurtles for her, his fists at the ready to give her the only kiss he knows how to give her.

She scratches and he swings, the dance could lead to murder; neither backing down.

“Mom!” Is that Stephens voice or was it a daze spell from this kafuffle. She lets down her guard and spins around, out of breath. The next thing, she feels the need to lie down; he had sucker punched her from behind.

“Steve, come to me mate. We’re going home.” He takes a couple of steps forward towards the youngster with his hand open for a clamp. Sandie tries wafting him away, her voice was broken.

Young Stephen walks over to him, shooting evil from his eyes he peers up at this towering man.

“If you touch my Ma’ again I am going to stab you in you in your sleep, we don’t want you here; you can have the television as your new family. I am going to be a grown-up soon and as soon as I do I am going to hit you for hitting our Mam.” The young kid stands in front of his damaged mother.

The bully pockets his hands; Uncle Jay comes to the door with the other two kids. Dad frantically walks to his car and wheel spins away. Never to be seen again by the children.

Young Stephen tries his hardest to help his mother up. Uncle Jay runs over to aid his sister.

“Steve, go inside buddy.” Stephen totters off. “Sandie, what the hell has happened?” He stammers with worry.

“I did it. I left him finally; I had to think of the kids and what they would have turn out as if I stayed. They could have seen him murder me.”

They enter through the door; she is picked up and carried off into the back of the living room.

“Kids give you Mam some space, okay. I canny’ believe little Steve stood up for him, the kid has some major guts.”

She shoots off into day-dream land.

“Yeah, I am going to have to keep an eye out for him, he has a knack for being a hero and not thinking of the consequences.”

As the three played cards on Uncle Jays gigantic glass table, Young Stephen stares over with hollow eyes.

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