Tag Archives: Crazy

A Flare-up Story – Mental Patient & Proud


The shadowy mother figure from the infamous sh...

The shadowy mother figure from the infamous shower scene. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There once lived a boy named Alex. Alex was a mentally challenged young lad…

One day…

“Alex, did you know you contradict yourself and say you’re a psycho, instead of your actual words you have used, saying you were a schizophrenic?” I did not know that; please tell me how else I can describe my emotional detachment or how I am feeling at that exact moment I write?

But I would like all of you sane people to know, you use words such as Crazy – Psycho – Out-of-my-mind – Mental – Lunatic on a daily basis and you have no problem with reality detachment or have even seen the inside of a mental health hospital… Most of you only need a good nights sleep, stop watching horror movies and step away from the pen.

I HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH THIS SINCE BEFORE I STARTED WRITING!!! I have more of a right to use these terms than you… You textbook quote back to me what mentally ill terminologies I should use – I have lived this…

No matter how hard I run, it will find me. It doesn’t matter how much I write, it will find a way to my forethought. You play and prey on words to make yourselves out to something you’re not as long as your sane voice is thrown across the internet, well here’s mine – I AM A MENTAL PATIENT AND I AM PROUD OF IT!!

I don’t really live, the people closest to my heart may know this about me, but I shall never go into detail and I will never let them see me on a bad day. It’s called keep people you trust most on the planet at arm’s length and it’s no way to live. And the people who pop in & out of my life believe I am a normal funny, happy everyday person, just like you.

Now I know my words I bring to the wordpress classroom for show & tell are perceived as Angry and Out-of-control, but it helps me deal. Now I am not averse to kicking some ass when needed, but if another SANE person strolls along into my blog, browsing only a few of my words and jumps straight in with pointless words and psychology to point stuff out. (I get enough looking after behind the screen BTW) If I am having a bad-day, I am not going to miss you and hit the computer screen.

Now I write to keep my demons at bay, it does help when you try to exorcise me over the internet.

I am broken, leave the mess be, read my blog and have a nice fricken’ day.

And remember… I am awesome.

Thanks for reading. My outburst has exhausted, now don’t we all feel better.

If you have a problem with anything within this post please comment and I am sure I will get straight back to you with some wonderful butterfly and rainbow words of wisdom and where the hell you can go.

Alex

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The Mental Patient – To Hell Embark


This is my story of being a real life mental patient; roughly based of course. PLEASE LIKE!

Psychopath

The Mental Patient – To Hell Embark

Standing under the spotlight of sanity, I understand I will never be understood. A hand placed firmly upon my shoulder from the orderly to my right. I walk at my own pace to the drum march of hapless disobedience. Squinting eyes peer and pierce my skin from the small wire mesh windows of their cell doors. This walk is endless; I clutch my coat, with thought of fighting freedom. There is no escaping from this.

The infamously curious Dr. Mackay waits at the bottom of tunnel vision hallway, for possibly a quick meet and greet; pill pop and off you pop. I doubt it though. He stands with such poise in his thousand pound suit. He doesn’t fool me, not while his glasses are balancing to stay focused upon his face.

“You must be Alex. Welcome to Newbridges Mental Health Hospital. Today is purely for introduction purposes, we’ll show you around, meet some of the other people who stay here before we let you get settled in. How does that sound?” He finishes with eerie smile. Does someone want to tell this douche I am completely fine?

“Can’t wait, it sounds awesome.” I make no attempt to hide my sarcasm.

“I am sure after a while you will appreciate what we do here, which inevitably you will appreciate more, later on, I am sure of it.” There’s that smile again. I hate it here already.

A stunning woman roughly the same age as myself, she wafts her below shoulder arid hair while she steps through a buzzer-door from behind the doctor.

“Ah, here she comes. This is Jade she is the nurse for this wing of the hospital. Any problems whatsoever come see Jade.”

“Hi there, Alex, like the doctor says, if you have any problems with other patients here or health related problems, do not hesitate to come talk to me, I am usually around until 7pm then I go home, so you will have to talk to the night nurse or one of the orderlies.”

“Well I shall leave you two to talk and have a gander around. Alex, I have already scheduled you in for a meeting for around ten thirty tomorrow morning, so be up and ready by then if you can.” He cocks his head and oddly winks my way. I give him the thumbs-up when I should have given him the middle finger.

The humongous male orderly from behind me joins Dr. Mackay; one clips away the other stomps. I look for all of my exits and all I see are mesh, bars and electrical button pads; I am stuck here. I roll my eyes to the events which have brought me to my knees practically in this Hell-Hole.

I scrunch up my coat to distress my fingertips and to stop me from swiping at people.

Jade stand idly with a gaze of intrigue in-between each blink she produces.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” I firmly drawl.

“I was waiting for you to make the first move. Now that you have let me tell you, this place ain’t so bad. I just want to help you, remember that, we all do. But after reading you file, may I say, you don’t seem like the same person from paper.” I jump her words.

“That’s because I never wrote it…”

“So you like to write? Could that be something you could see yourself doing?”

“I don’t man, I just don’t want to be here right now, so if that mean taking a splash into my imagination, so be it… But I have been known to throw one or two words together in my time.”

She grins from one side of her face. This chick is a stunner, too bad the band on her finger says she is married. I’ve never been one for keeping to the guidelines of life; I mean look at my predicament I am in.

“Alex, walk with me.” We begin calmly strolling over the excessively cleaned reflective floor into a larger room. Several security cameras are protected by metal frames, same with the television. All larger objects such as chairs and tables look to me screwed into the ground for safety measures.

“This is the common area, all of the patients usually cluster in here every day, unless they have earned their stars and have been given a pass to go outside. You will be monitored closely if you are with a group of friends to when you are by yourself; no exceptions. The television is usually on, we do not watch anything which may evoke angry emotions, so we keep it to educational channels. Once a week we will watch a movie, one we all want to watch; also three square meals a day and finally a partridge in a pear tree. How does that sound?”

I scratch the back of my head in unmoving boredom.

“I’m sure I can manage. Can we put this thing on hold, I was given some meds when I came in and all I want to do is crash-out and sleep.” I slightly slur.

“Sure thing, we can continue our little walk some other time when you’re ready; C’mon, this way to your room.” She swiftly shifts around my sluggish limbs.

I enter through a door which Jade keeps open for me. A bed, desk, one chair and an on suite bathroom is all I have. I must be moving up in the world.

“I know it’s not much to look at now, but once you settle in I am sure you will think of this as your own room.” She places her hand on my back.

“Thanks. But for right now, all I want to do is, give my pillow some head and my sheets some ass.”

She giggles in the most peculiar high pitch way.

“That was funny. We do quiet checkups on the hour every hour. It’s not that we want to invade your privacy, but you never know. Have a nice sleep and I will see you soon, Alex.

“Hopefully…” I play the cool card on her.

She exits the door in her own time, her eye bouncing on and off me. The lock turns and I turn my guards off and chuck myself on the bed for a medication nap.

PLEASE LIKE!

Alex.

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The Mental Insanity of This Person, by These People, is for Those People and Shall Not Perish from This Earth


 

Writing insane

I’m bringing the straightjacket back into fashion; I am a radical mind-moulding designer.  No longer shall I solitary confine my emotions or sedate my madness, I will scream my demons throughout this night and keep the world awake. My warped mind is set for warp speed, there is no doctor out there who can talk to me; I’m a brick wall, it’s the same as trying to get blood from a stone. My temper flares and I shall rain fire upon this world whilst I am reigning in the fires of this so-called hell.

I’m taking over this asylum, the disturbed patients are now in charge; if you follow my demands you can have your brains back in one piece. I am the ultimate escape artist, I’ve lost myself and mind at the same time. Ramblings, babblings, salivating, crap flinging, raggedy sayings, tablet taking, mad at faces, I can’t take this.

I have insanity on my side, it is the only nightmarish dream I believe in. The mental insanity of this person, by these people, is for those people and shall not perish from this Earth. Craziness is my religion and I am the high priest of it all, worship the good book, my mental health report. I am a second-hand collector; I only hang around with people who are broken and damaged. Bring forth the tranquilizers, our drug and love of choice.

Darkness pic

We cannot halt our laughs at you sane people; screwball abnormal, zany walks of insane, true or false vocals, running around naked in the rain; Nap times with a needle, lock & keys are the parents.

Captured by my past, my memories have gotten me prisoner, remembrance is my murder, locked down forever.  I am torturing the rear of my eyelids; squeeze tight until a migraine takes my forethought away from this place. These are the voyages of my dark diaries days; scrawl my bawls when a tear comes to visit. I am trying to get my talent off the ground, carve an S on my chest and fly away in my head. Schizoid-man to the rescue!

Finding my shattered parts of me and pulling myself together, I am drowning in the recollections, my own life jacket has transformed to straight. This world breaks into my psyche until I am broken, listen out for the snap and observe the repercussions with thunderous percussions.  My darkness is coming, everyone run! I will be raining fire whilst reigning in the fires.

I’m not getting dressed today; my hands and feet are tied, sorry. Is there a doctor in the house? I guess I will treat myself.

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