Tag Archives: Insane

What Did I Just Write? What Was I Thinking?


2014 Alex kennedy

What did I just write? What was I thinking?

The jags from their stares wrench and echo beyond my eyes, their eyes are now chock-a-block with a monster. I invert my own look towards a daydream away from this pit of despair I helped dig for them. Hands clenched within my pockets, they will never know how close they had come to a detrimental dental demise. I tell myself, they lie through their teeth, smash through those pearly whites and find self-satisfaction within the truth.

Raise Hell!

They’re coming to take me away to the funny-farm; I’m up-in-arms, hooray! The dark clouds are forming above; Hells-mouth is foaming for a taste of me beneath, especially when I drive my evil pen through these skinned sheets. They call me bad names, they call me ugly, that’s okay, because so are you! How I sleep well with my disfigurement? I dream of killing you! I’m prising open hell; you’re all men of God, have faith in me when I say, I’m a man of my words. Now the world of words should have begged my momma to boil this baby at birth.

tumblr_m6fkjt1Nen1ryv12ko1_500

I’m the writer the good book looked-upon and shook fear from their every praying nook. I see words differently; they could be definitively disastrous definitely, defacing dimensions infinity infamously from the dragon inside me, diminishing dabblers dripping ink trying to deign diamonds. (That rhymes…. Fools.) YOU’RE IN MY WORKSHOP!!! I cycle down the path of a serial killing psychopath; reading recycled crap, redial that, RECYCLED CRAP!

pics of me for my blog 3

I’m done being the nice guy, time to write or time to die, lost my fights and ran for my life. This is the return of Alexander Kennedy, the evil pen strikes back. Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream, make it the most gruesome that these people have ever seen. What am I thinking? What am I writing? Alex, there is a method to your madness, can’t you see? I’m starting a war against humanity, sanity is the culprit and it must be smudged clean from this spirally flushed floating toilet.

there is evil within us

Bring you picket signs, pitchforks and lit torch, gather round, gather round the monster writer of the century. Sane people fear what they don’t understand and cannot control; I don’t play well with others, why do you think since I grow teeth they kept me caged up? I can out-write you all with my left arm tied behind my back. I cannot rub out these words, like when the world tried to rub out this mistake. I auto-corrected myself and picked up a dictionary for meaning for the word, Pain.

I learned a few more bad words along my way; I don’t need swear words to curse at you. I write you into my world and let the ground swallow you whole. An emptied soul and a mind full of poetic words help formulate a plan beyond insane proportions. I peel my skin and try to fit in, but sooner or later they find new ways to get to me, further under my skin. So I put my faith and collective insanity and create a fictional world, where human rules do not apply, only the evilness that seeps from me. So I will slog my way through the slutty, semi-silent but slithering away siren ridden streets for some sort of success. I will figure out a way to pull your eyeballs out to my blog; and once I am in your minds, I will manipulate my way to the top of the food chain and then start to munch my way down the pyramid.

bipolar_by_jaeia

So you can blame Eminem for giving me a second chance at life; Or you can blame my mother for giving birth to me. But it is society in a whole that failed me, pushed and pulled me to my own extinction, this is not an attitude problem, this is manmade evil. I’m your Frankenstein monster, you do not wish to confront. But just know I will take everything from you. This is all I know. This is my design.

sanity-insanity-street-signs-voices-in-my-head-pix

I scrape my nails across my face,

Self-hate has set sail for that new place,

A doomed fate,

The world is clueless to this,

It’s as easy as tying my shoelace.

One thousand screams,

Confounded dreams,

Come huddle round my murder scenes,

Doctors try to de-feather me,

But they looked further in me,

And heard him climbing.

Now I’m breaking free,

They took everything from me,

Here’s their severance pay,

For all eternity.

Living in this glass cage,

Stopping me from a rampage,

But this is my bat-cave,

I’m planning your last days,

While you’re in the fast lane,

On this world as a bad stain,

The world will have a bad day,

Now watch as I make the glass break

And come around your way.

 

 

Enhanced by Zemanta
Advertisements

2 Comments

Filed under 2014, Articles, Author, Blog, Blogging, Blook, Books, crazy, Creative Writing, Eminem, Entertainment, Fiction, Life, Literacy, Literary Agent, Mental Health, Misc, My Insane Scribblings, News, News #2, Novel, Poem, Poems, Poetry, Random, Story, Uncategorized, Wordpress, Writer, Writing, Writing #2

My Evil Pen Once Again


ed25da245832d89c7c2a80f6925d4e6a

My Evil Pen Once Again

Crimson hands nailed to the crucifix, a mental martyr for all mankind, now firing mortar shells at their warp minds while I’m on fire. Welcome to my mad world, invasion of the sanity snatcher.  This is a historic event, placing my beating trusted heart on a silver platter of judgement. I am not trying my hardest to get through to you for you to save your own life; I am asking we join our forces so we can destroy sanity together. I am the prime example of the worst writer to grace this planet, Oh, I can write but my words are that dark you cannot read this.

In my head all I hear is… “Life is too difficult, it’s a cynical miracle, if the pains not emotionally whimsical it’s probably physical, poetically and lyrically visual; my words are terribly killing you, sent here by the wind to preferably out-best you to my pinnacle proportions, I put the devil in his coffin, Figaro-Figaro! Mr. Barber let me go and cut open my own throat, I’m abysmal. This world is too much for me to hold so I am running for that door.”

Now is it classed as suicide or homicide if your evil persona tries to kill you?  The temperature I’m blowing is either hot or cold; within the blink of an eye I’ve turned the heat down into a flaming temper. I’m a poisonous flower; as a toddler I was a bad seed little monster. Half the time if I change my mind I have to change my life. Those broken words and these broken wings are holding hostage this world which cannot do a thing. Run for life!! Here comes my pen, again. Follow me – Follow me, you’re the only one who can deliver me towards infinity.

This world belongs at the back of my mind,

When I have flung my body back in time,

My tongues not working I guess it’s time to write,

One lost person isn’t cause for a riot,

I’m back from the dead, the baddest to death; madness vents while my friends and family burn.

You have no remote chance to control me,

I never hang my head because I channel this anger well,

No soul has a hold, a centrefold that should be censored gold but my words promote worm food.

Enhanced by Zemanta

4 Comments

Filed under Articles, Author, Blog, Books, Creative Writing, Fiction, Life, Literacy, Mental Health, Misc, Novel, Poems, Random, Rant, Story, Tales, Uncategorized, Wordpress, Writer, Writing, Writing #2

The Mental Patient – To Hell Embark


This is my story of being a real life mental patient; roughly based of course. PLEASE LIKE!

Psychopath

The Mental Patient – To Hell Embark

Standing under the spotlight of sanity, I understand I will never be understood. A hand placed firmly upon my shoulder from the orderly to my right. I walk at my own pace to the drum march of hapless disobedience. Squinting eyes peer and pierce my skin from the small wire mesh windows of their cell doors. This walk is endless; I clutch my coat, with thought of fighting freedom. There is no escaping from this.

The infamously curious Dr. Mackay waits at the bottom of tunnel vision hallway, for possibly a quick meet and greet; pill pop and off you pop. I doubt it though. He stands with such poise in his thousand pound suit. He doesn’t fool me, not while his glasses are balancing to stay focused upon his face.

“You must be Alex. Welcome to Newbridges Mental Health Hospital. Today is purely for introduction purposes, we’ll show you around, meet some of the other people who stay here before we let you get settled in. How does that sound?” He finishes with eerie smile. Does someone want to tell this douche I am completely fine?

“Can’t wait, it sounds awesome.” I make no attempt to hide my sarcasm.

“I am sure after a while you will appreciate what we do here, which inevitably you will appreciate more, later on, I am sure of it.” There’s that smile again. I hate it here already.

A stunning woman roughly the same age as myself, she wafts her below shoulder arid hair while she steps through a buzzer-door from behind the doctor.

“Ah, here she comes. This is Jade she is the nurse for this wing of the hospital. Any problems whatsoever come see Jade.”

“Hi there, Alex, like the doctor says, if you have any problems with other patients here or health related problems, do not hesitate to come talk to me, I am usually around until 7pm then I go home, so you will have to talk to the night nurse or one of the orderlies.”

“Well I shall leave you two to talk and have a gander around. Alex, I have already scheduled you in for a meeting for around ten thirty tomorrow morning, so be up and ready by then if you can.” He cocks his head and oddly winks my way. I give him the thumbs-up when I should have given him the middle finger.

The humongous male orderly from behind me joins Dr. Mackay; one clips away the other stomps. I look for all of my exits and all I see are mesh, bars and electrical button pads; I am stuck here. I roll my eyes to the events which have brought me to my knees practically in this Hell-Hole.

I scrunch up my coat to distress my fingertips and to stop me from swiping at people.

Jade stand idly with a gaze of intrigue in-between each blink she produces.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” I firmly drawl.

“I was waiting for you to make the first move. Now that you have let me tell you, this place ain’t so bad. I just want to help you, remember that, we all do. But after reading you file, may I say, you don’t seem like the same person from paper.” I jump her words.

“That’s because I never wrote it…”

“So you like to write? Could that be something you could see yourself doing?”

“I don’t man, I just don’t want to be here right now, so if that mean taking a splash into my imagination, so be it… But I have been known to throw one or two words together in my time.”

She grins from one side of her face. This chick is a stunner, too bad the band on her finger says she is married. I’ve never been one for keeping to the guidelines of life; I mean look at my predicament I am in.

“Alex, walk with me.” We begin calmly strolling over the excessively cleaned reflective floor into a larger room. Several security cameras are protected by metal frames, same with the television. All larger objects such as chairs and tables look to me screwed into the ground for safety measures.

“This is the common area, all of the patients usually cluster in here every day, unless they have earned their stars and have been given a pass to go outside. You will be monitored closely if you are with a group of friends to when you are by yourself; no exceptions. The television is usually on, we do not watch anything which may evoke angry emotions, so we keep it to educational channels. Once a week we will watch a movie, one we all want to watch; also three square meals a day and finally a partridge in a pear tree. How does that sound?”

I scratch the back of my head in unmoving boredom.

“I’m sure I can manage. Can we put this thing on hold, I was given some meds when I came in and all I want to do is crash-out and sleep.” I slightly slur.

“Sure thing, we can continue our little walk some other time when you’re ready; C’mon, this way to your room.” She swiftly shifts around my sluggish limbs.

I enter through a door which Jade keeps open for me. A bed, desk, one chair and an on suite bathroom is all I have. I must be moving up in the world.

“I know it’s not much to look at now, but once you settle in I am sure you will think of this as your own room.” She places her hand on my back.

“Thanks. But for right now, all I want to do is, give my pillow some head and my sheets some ass.”

She giggles in the most peculiar high pitch way.

“That was funny. We do quiet checkups on the hour every hour. It’s not that we want to invade your privacy, but you never know. Have a nice sleep and I will see you soon, Alex.

“Hopefully…” I play the cool card on her.

She exits the door in her own time, her eye bouncing on and off me. The lock turns and I turn my guards off and chuck myself on the bed for a medication nap.

PLEASE LIKE!

Alex.

Enhanced by Zemanta

7 Comments

Filed under Articles, Author, Blog, Creative Writing, Fiction, Life, Literacy, Love, Mental Health, Misc, Story, Uncategorized, Writer, Writing, Writing #2

My Evil Pen Told Me To Write This 4


sanity-insanity-street-signs-voices-in-my-head-pix

My Evil Pen Told Me To Write This 4

Tell me your nightmares, feed me your fears, come dance with the devil, drown in my tears. Sway in the spectrum prism prison; hallucinate with me within the breathtaking shades, colour-blind. We’re not here right now, they can’t see us. Caught in the rain, suffocating in misery, pillow my pains. Dribble my emotions and dunk them in the hole in the ground, a winner in the game of life. I am one of a kind, the last of my species; did I reach birth to conquer my own doubt? Waltz with me in my watery grave, hand me a tissue before my war paint runs. I am a writing mosquito; I suck the life instantly from the page.

My friends in my head are talking behind my back, sticking paper to my spine, break me! I am influencing my evil core, even more than you, when I caught you stealing my soul. Lick your lips and kiss me your love, I will pocket your face for later. I am unleashing the beast within, click goes my pen and I never see you here again. I write so much because in truth I speak in tongues, douse me in holy water again. Carrying my cross to work, to Wal-Mart, back to my girlfriend’s house, I need to get nailed quickly, I am sick of waiting.

We’re rich from welfare cheques; throw your food stamps in the air with me, poor us? Poor you! You can almost taste my bittersweet desperation. My heart is broken with no guarantee of love; I fumble, fidgeting my fingers to fix it.  My mind is crowding, I am trying my darndest to push through to you. Knock – Knock! Am I disturbing you yet? Slicing over antique wounds, history will be remembered and the future is bloodcurdling, more pain in store for me to shop over. I’m captivating this world in a page of writing, no one writes as me anymore.  The end of the world is nigh, it has been written in my DNA cells and also my padded cell walls, in suicidal blood.

Box my voice and ink my feelings, colour crayon my insanity and jagged cave my phobias. Reality isn’t my way; contamination has ventured the world’s atmosphere. Cancer candidly coffins my family ancestry; I am the only one in this house who is the true definition of two-faced. To me, sanity is randomly rancid when stranded in my nostrils, a frostbitten brain which shards to pieces if held. There is no sun in this city, hell has frozen over; everyone zombies the wintry streets. Body-bag the bad bad thoughts, label them toe to toe. Download my downhearted emotions in this war-torn lovelorn underworld. I need my imaginary friends to talk with.

I have to keep trekking through this fire.

Enhanced by Zemanta

8 Comments

Filed under Blog, Blogging, Creative Writing, Life, Literacy, Misc, Scribbling Insanity, Uncategorized, Writer, Writing, Writing #2

The Mental Insanity of This Person, by These People, is for Those People and Shall Not Perish from This Earth


 

Writing insane

I’m bringing the straightjacket back into fashion; I am a radical mind-moulding designer.  No longer shall I solitary confine my emotions or sedate my madness, I will scream my demons throughout this night and keep the world awake. My warped mind is set for warp speed, there is no doctor out there who can talk to me; I’m a brick wall, it’s the same as trying to get blood from a stone. My temper flares and I shall rain fire upon this world whilst I am reigning in the fires of this so-called hell.

I’m taking over this asylum, the disturbed patients are now in charge; if you follow my demands you can have your brains back in one piece. I am the ultimate escape artist, I’ve lost myself and mind at the same time. Ramblings, babblings, salivating, crap flinging, raggedy sayings, tablet taking, mad at faces, I can’t take this.

I have insanity on my side, it is the only nightmarish dream I believe in. The mental insanity of this person, by these people, is for those people and shall not perish from this Earth. Craziness is my religion and I am the high priest of it all, worship the good book, my mental health report. I am a second-hand collector; I only hang around with people who are broken and damaged. Bring forth the tranquilizers, our drug and love of choice.

Darkness pic

We cannot halt our laughs at you sane people; screwball abnormal, zany walks of insane, true or false vocals, running around naked in the rain; Nap times with a needle, lock & keys are the parents.

Captured by my past, my memories have gotten me prisoner, remembrance is my murder, locked down forever.  I am torturing the rear of my eyelids; squeeze tight until a migraine takes my forethought away from this place. These are the voyages of my dark diaries days; scrawl my bawls when a tear comes to visit. I am trying to get my talent off the ground, carve an S on my chest and fly away in my head. Schizoid-man to the rescue!

Finding my shattered parts of me and pulling myself together, I am drowning in the recollections, my own life jacket has transformed to straight. This world breaks into my psyche until I am broken, listen out for the snap and observe the repercussions with thunderous percussions.  My darkness is coming, everyone run! I will be raining fire whilst reigning in the fires.

I’m not getting dressed today; my hands and feet are tied, sorry. Is there a doctor in the house? I guess I will treat myself.

Enhanced by Zemanta

14 Comments

Filed under Writing