Tag Archives: Mental Health

Why Mental-Illness Can Save Someone’s Life


We're all a little insane

Why Mental Illness Can save Someone’s Life

So I’m crazy. The doctors drilled it into me, mom and dad wept for me, brothers and sisters didn’t pick on me and friends stayed clear of me. Can you blame them? But we’re all a little crazy, the world is one big mental asylum and all the countries are personal padded cells for all nationalities. But in this day and age, broken is the new fixed.

And for me as a warped minded writer, this gives me a certain advantage over other scribblers out there. Yes, they have fancy educations. Yes, they have big bank accounts. Yes, their daddies know the right people and connections. But no, they do not have a genuine gift as I do. Yes, I am poverty ridden, broke to pockets seams. I failed high school, except for English. This is where I triumph.

I do remember heading to school once; my feet sprawled out on the top deck of the double-decker bus. I was having major headache recently, but I hide it well because I had no one to complain too. I was still a geeky teen in high school. My bus stop was coming up and I stood and shaking I walked down the bus aisle. As I reached the stairs blackness hit my eyes and the next thing I knew I was on my back covered in cuts and bruises and a bus full of people laughing at me. I made a hasty retreat from my embarrassment.

That was the first time I blacked out, this was the onset for something dark coming into focus readying itself to consume me. I at never played truant from school, I always did the right thing, which made me a target for the bullies. I never wanted to be this guy but this is the result of my history that shifted my geography, since then my mathematical problems doubled, tripled and quadrupled and within my science all I am left with is the P.E. I learned that made me run away with a pipe-dream for bad English and dark-side of the human anatomy and biology for my evil fiction homework.

But as my good behaviour shifted into a bad attitude, I felt I gain control of myself, finally. No longer was I a robot stricken by routine. And when my imagination hit me between the eyes, I concocted a devilish plan, use what I have and write everything you can.

Now this is easier said than done; especially when you have no money, no help and no readers. First thing was first, I needed a computer. I needed money for a computer, I needed a job. For a job I needed the right grades, which I didn’t have. Shop work it is (I am still working here by the way.) So now I have my computer, a little money, not a lot but hey, we writers have to start somewhere.

But if it wasn’t for my mental illness, I’m sure I would have given up on my life a long time ago. So now I plod on with my damaged baggage dreaming of something I can only imagine.

But I am sure, as long as I jot down all I can and keep reaching out to people, one day my dreams will come true. I am working on my second novel, which will shock the pants off this world, but I know you will enjoy it.

And I am still blogging short stories and creative writing; from time to time waving my poetic pen across the paper for you too.

So keep reading

And keep your pens busy.

Psycho for life!! Haha!

Alex

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Who am I?


demons pic

WHO AM I?

I’m a walking nightmare, my hands around my own throat, can’t shake awake! I’m dying to write dynamic dynamite; writing is my form of dialysis, I need all the badness out. A mental state of emergence has now been issued to you, personally. This is no jocularity; I mean this all the way down to my tormented soul. I’m rattling and shaking, I’m not afraid; you will twig-on when I snap. I’m digging up my own past, shovel in hand; I need answers and resolve some unfinished business, so you can lollop around my questions but remember this is my job, I write like a boss.

Misanthropy over here! So you’re either with me or against me, I’m going to war with humankind. I swindle and hustle my way out from my psychiatrist meetings; they label my big-toe as sane and packed me back to the free-world I am coming to conquer. If you were smarter you would have caught me out. I bring no attention to my shell, I blend in, disappear and robot-dance my way into the crowd, my circuits have shorted but this has made me a bigger man. If you knew my story, you would burn my book.

I’m heat-seeking for inner-peace,

But before I be seated,

These are my proposed proceedings,

I’m pulling out all my deep seeded beliefs,

A concocted mix of special needs, my inner-beast and deceit,

These are the things which live deep in me.

I am a soldier of the apocalypse,

Holding hostage every major metropolis,

If you can’t topple this, copy this,

Looking for my mind,

As I look for a lost wish.

I’m not a writer; I am the reaper of words,

My life is on an egg-timer,

What can be worse than being the worst?

Strand by strand,

I stand before you less than half the man,

I’m a problem they buried,

Now it’s time to raise hell,

The feeling of lost and deserted,

“This is what you deserve, kid.”

I cut myself to excel the bad blood,

It’s all fun in Hell,

Fall down this wonder-well,

Hurry-up before it gets backed up.

I’ve lost my mind,

A search and rescue team,

They can’t find me,

Yeah, laugh it up!

Back when I was fighting for life,

It was frightening,

My personal war of Clash of the Titans.

It’s time to unbind the blind,

And just enjoy the ride.

 don't-stop-writing

I’m not coming down from this high, until I am grounded and surrounded by stars. An operated opened sternum sense of a nonsensical life, I have. My real name is Addict, I pour a bowl of Pill-pops, add my milk or vodka-shots and spoon my mouth what it needs. No more secrets, I am an opened book… I need help, I think. I have isolated all I love with my ice-cold heart. I am living a double life and people are fatigued trying to figure me out. How do I join the living again?

Welcome once again to my ribaldry! Sanctimoniously I dribble around what I truly need to deliver, but effusively I fumble my falsehood. I am a walking, writing blob of human but with a side dollop of insane lollop; you can be just like me. Still impecunious, but that is okay, one day I will dream and wake to a happy ever after. Perhaps I am impervious to a happier time? What I truly am in most eyes is an indemnifying writing object. I have a storm in my heart and love within my eyes; can’t I just touch the tip? Insatiable! I’m I accurately jejune to you?

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Goodbye – Duet by Just Patty and Alex Kennedy


Worldwide readers & writers, tonight we have a treat for you, myself and the legendary Just Patty shall be teaming back up to entertain you once more. With our poem “Goodbye” some of the best poetic writing within this post. I hope you enjoy reading just as much as I & just Patty enjoyed writing. LIKE & FOLLOW!

I highly recommend you check out her blog, if you haven’t already because Patty is an awesome writer!–> http://petitemagique.wordpress.com/

Enjoy this final part of our insanely long duet!

Patty, keep your pen busy!

Patty NEW PHOTO2014 Alex kennedy

 

Alex –> https://youngadultfictionblog.com/

Just Patty–>http://petitemagique.wordpress.com/

Goodbye

Duet by Just Patty and Alex Kennedy

I fall by my will and one day I know I will fall,

Caught by my cold-hearted chills,

I’m holding up a window to my soul.

Insomnia mixed with paper-cuts,

Is a formula drink unsafe to gulp,

Calm your nerves you save to cut,

Harm the world, you’ve gave enough,

My target is held and their grave is dug,

I’ve married in hell now we lay in blood,

The amount of times tragedy spellbinds,

My face has turned numb.

Demons in my heart,

Monsters in my eyes,

Feed them your body parts,

Until you’re lying there cross-eyed,

Write about your life,

It teaches you not to fall apart,

We know you don’t force these cries,

They’ve carted you a forestry of lies,

Penny for my thoughts means penny for my rhymes,

Plenty more from this entity with empty empathy,

Pointing the finger and death sentencing me,

If I pick up this pencil no one can eventually end me.

This is payback,

As if I owe you money,

I’m way past irony, it isn’t even funny.

Weather calls for extreme conditions,

The Heavens fall whilst we sit back and listen.

I’m holding my heart over you,

This is the moment of truth,

You’ve stolen my youth,

Now I’m too broken to view,

This picture of me,

I’m holding to you,

A splendid entry in dead-end eternity,

Suicide has in its hooks.

Good…

 

I fall against my will, but with broken wings

Deceived by my darkened heart

I’m holding up a barricade

No one gets in, no one gets out

Nightmares mixed with flashbacks

A poisonous gift from the past

Scream it out, I have had enough!

Sick of Life calling my bluff

I lived in Hell, it’s a peaceful place

Sometimes I can’t even remember my own name

My soul has turned numb

Darkness in my heart

Shadows in my eyes

Dreaming when I’m wide awake

Until you’re lying there all bleed out

Sing about your life

It teaches you not to give up

We know you force these goodbyes

And yet another loved one dies

A look inside my mind will destroy you

Devastating demons crawling through my brain

I can’t even remember the time I was sane

Don’t look at me, I will consume your soul

If Life is just a play, what’s your role?

You can keep all

Owe me nothing

Can you see the irony, don’t you think it’s funny?

Surviving calls for extreme measures

Hell will swallow all whilst we lay down and listen

I have nothing left to give you

Gave it my all

Now I am broken beyond repair

This picture of me

Is not even real

Delusional, optional, I think I will heal

But life was always in vain

Goodbye…

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True Evil Holds a Pen


joker-laughs

I am flirting with fire; from normality I had cold-feet. I am a kerfuffle of trouble, there’s no saving me now as I have mushroom-clouds for thought bubbles. They lacerate my world believing they killed me, I’m letting slip my dogs of war until they know me as a reformed super villain. Challenge Completed, Planet Earth; I’m spinning out-of-control, no fault of my own, I couldn’t keep hold. I’m a libertine shoulder barging my way through the captive creators; I’m writing on black paper in the dark.

No brain freeze or frisson, picking up lightening-bolts and throwing them at the pages of rapture I capture. This is merely reverie I reveal and unravel, I time-travel back and thwart all my enemies plans for me. I am no poltroon, I pollute pages personally I made it personal because I am no longer a person. The rain trickles down and washes away all my plights from my face, I change my mind and change my face and I am giving the world hell again, true evil is holding a pen. My calm levels are unstable, upon this page I have too much sycophantic horsepower, I bucking-bronco my way out from this web of life.

bipolar_by_jaeia

In school, after Maths was English class where I jotted down my aftermath from the bullies pulley, I guess I’m pure vile and puerile, I’m not a Transformer I can transmogrify. Rambunctious to my soul’s battery core; setting my switch to self-destruction. A man can only receive so much failure in his life before superiority takes over his eyes focus. Insanity is a gift from the Gods; I wield and shield it against sanity.

This world sees what they want to see; I could have charming characteristics, suave and soigné, hats off to me, my undercurrent is currently a catastrophe. All passengers, we have a slight insurgence for turbulence and wizen, please, fasten your seatbelts and come join me within my plummet. Its drizzling green and yellow pills, I’m dancing in the pain, I jump in blood puddles and reappear in sky tunnels of bliss. This hurt in my head I play it over and over again, until a joker smirk arises on my face, I’m no longer insane, isn’t life splendiferous.

insane 12

Within my writing I cannot be a stentorian, so I must visual lies my memory video-taped life, transplant and transport all of my supercilious kisses of life, these pages are where my wishes go to find a place to die. This world should have boxed me in early, now I can create topsy-turvy from everything that profoundly promotes to hurt me. Here comes the valetudinarian again, turn away, don’t dare turn that page, it’s all of the same. I could be a beacon of silver-lining light, but the doctors beat my head in with a rock to keep me under it for eternity. I am a writer, this is what I do, keep bringing you words and I shall sit here and laugh at you.

This image was selected as a picture of the we...

This image was selected as a picture of the week on the Malay Wikipedia for the 44th week, 2009. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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A Flare-up Story – Mental Patient & Proud


The shadowy mother figure from the infamous sh...

The shadowy mother figure from the infamous shower scene. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There once lived a boy named Alex. Alex was a mentally challenged young lad…

One day…

“Alex, did you know you contradict yourself and say you’re a psycho, instead of your actual words you have used, saying you were a schizophrenic?” I did not know that; please tell me how else I can describe my emotional detachment or how I am feeling at that exact moment I write?

But I would like all of you sane people to know, you use words such as Crazy – Psycho – Out-of-my-mind – Mental – Lunatic on a daily basis and you have no problem with reality detachment or have even seen the inside of a mental health hospital… Most of you only need a good nights sleep, stop watching horror movies and step away from the pen.

I HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH THIS SINCE BEFORE I STARTED WRITING!!! I have more of a right to use these terms than you… You textbook quote back to me what mentally ill terminologies I should use – I have lived this…

No matter how hard I run, it will find me. It doesn’t matter how much I write, it will find a way to my forethought. You play and prey on words to make yourselves out to something you’re not as long as your sane voice is thrown across the internet, well here’s mine – I AM A MENTAL PATIENT AND I AM PROUD OF IT!!

I don’t really live, the people closest to my heart may know this about me, but I shall never go into detail and I will never let them see me on a bad day. It’s called keep people you trust most on the planet at arm’s length and it’s no way to live. And the people who pop in & out of my life believe I am a normal funny, happy everyday person, just like you.

Now I know my words I bring to the wordpress classroom for show & tell are perceived as Angry and Out-of-control, but it helps me deal. Now I am not averse to kicking some ass when needed, but if another SANE person strolls along into my blog, browsing only a few of my words and jumps straight in with pointless words and psychology to point stuff out. (I get enough looking after behind the screen BTW) If I am having a bad-day, I am not going to miss you and hit the computer screen.

Now I write to keep my demons at bay, it does help when you try to exorcise me over the internet.

I am broken, leave the mess be, read my blog and have a nice fricken’ day.

And remember… I am awesome.

Thanks for reading. My outburst has exhausted, now don’t we all feel better.

If you have a problem with anything within this post please comment and I am sure I will get straight back to you with some wonderful butterfly and rainbow words of wisdom and where the hell you can go.

Alex

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