Tag Archives: Music

Eminem Saved My Life! Now I Write Everything.


“You can do anything you set your mind to it, man.”

So I did….

I am going to tell you all a very personal story about one of my heroes, Eminem/Slim Shady/Marshall Bruce Mathers. When I was at my low point of mental illness, hiding from people knocking on my door behind the couch because the paranoia and disbelief of reality had its hooks within me.

I had enough, I tried pills but I don’t think I took enough. I just wanted the pain to end and I didn’t think it could. By the way, I do not condone suicide in any fashion; I do not believe it is the weak way out as you need some massive guts to do it. I was at the end of my tether and I was sitting on the cold cramped messed up kitchen floor, a butcher’s knife in my hand and I was ready to stop it all.

My friend had made me a mixed CD with some rock music, some chart music and some random album tracks. A D12 track came on seconds before and Eminem’s verse started. All I heard from the living room was his voice saying “I ain’t having anyone rappin’ who ain’t had a slappin’.” I subconsciously thought that I had one of the biggest life-slaps imaginable and here I am, as low as I can be.  LIGHT-BULB!

I have had a messed-up life – I have lived on the drug filled streets and hung with the dudes and here I am with a condition that is about to eradicate me. Why don’t I write? I was always great at writing when I was a kid and won some writing awards. I could begin a new life as a rapper/writer become rich and famous and get out of this place and become just like Eminem.

Thank you, Eminem. We may never meet but I would like you to know that you saved my life.

So there I was studying rap music, perfecting my style. I worked from Eminem to D12. D12 to 50 Cent. 50 Cent to Nas. Nas to Jay-Z. Jay-Z to Kanye West. So on and so forth until I knew everyone and I had studied their unique styles of storytellings to music.

But I was writing towards something, something more than myself. As a mental patient, I sent Eminem some of my lyrics along with a letter telling him what he had done. I don’t think he got it, I never received a reply.  So I carried on, I started battling people and winning respect for my innuendo style and quick wit.

I soon came to the conclusion when I mastered my style. Just because I can rap does it give me the right too, as it is a predominately black music. I didn’t stop, I just put it on ice, rhymes were no long keeping the demons at bay any longer; I needed a new way out. So I began Screenwriting, I was between jobs and needed money or I will fall back on a growling stomach for months. I was doing so well. I mastered my screenwriting after only a few months, got a job stacking shelves, money flow. So now I can write Songs, poetry, screenplays, novels and short stories. That is only for fun.

But I will never forget what Eminem did for me. He saved my life, even if he only turned on the light. I am no longer in the darkness, well I am in and out every now and again but I have a better hold on it. For that I would like to thank him, his music influences my writings so much too.

One day I will become big enough to shake this man’s hand. You will not know this but from his music he has taught me when I write too. “Write in-between the lines, they help to fill in the gaps were people tend to read, see or hear.”

Alex Kennedy.


Filed under Life, Music, Writing

You’re Still Not Here. Song.

You’re Still Not Here.


(Verse 1)

No matter how long I wait,

The question today is can I hang on to these days?

I would go crazy again just to hallucinate your face,

Reach in this photograph just to be back in that place,

So many stories have turned to sorry,

Don’t throw the time that we had right back in my face,

It wasn’t me it was you,

I know my acting cliché,

You’re forcing me to find a new you,

I have to stop my heart beating this way,

Because I’m feeling ashamed,

But still your memory of betrayal returns to me,

If haunting is the way then I’m keeping that safe,

Your burn upon me was a one in a million flame.



I will keep this little secret,

I swear, I will never speak it,

Cause I know if I do….

I’m in deep-shit



You’re not here,

To question this awful truth,

And you’re not here, baby,

For me to tell you I love you,

You’re still not here,

So I’m yelling out your name

You’re still not here,

You’re still not here.


(Verse 2)

You double cross and scheme,

Those are your ways,

You won and lost me,

By the choices that you made,

Thanks for the wake up call,

To this feeling of betrayed,

I’m not here to take your calls,

I’m still hitting all these parties,

I will find a new you,

By the end of this night,

This wasn’t me its all on you,

And its way passed my bedtime,

If I ever see you, I ain’t talking back,

This is me leaving you,

Watch me as I wash my hands,

I just hope they were worth it,

Now watch me as I dance.


(Verse 3)

I’m celebrating our death,

With so much liquor,

Lay my heart back in my chest,

Better cancel the vicar,

Now I’m back on the club patrol,

Like an animal to its prey,

Believe me I’m taking someone home,

For what you have done to me,

There’s more fish in the sea,

More beautiful than you,

You were the biggest mistake to me,

Don’t worry; I think I’ll pull through.


Filed under Love, Music, Poems