Tag Archives: Psycho

A Flare-up Story – Mental Patient & Proud


The shadowy mother figure from the infamous sh...

The shadowy mother figure from the infamous shower scene. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There once lived a boy named Alex. Alex was a mentally challenged young lad…

One day…

“Alex, did you know you contradict yourself and say you’re a psycho, instead of your actual words you have used, saying you were a schizophrenic?” I did not know that; please tell me how else I can describe my emotional detachment or how I am feeling at that exact moment I write?

But I would like all of you sane people to know, you use words such as Crazy – Psycho – Out-of-my-mind – Mental – Lunatic on a daily basis and you have no problem with reality detachment or have even seen the inside of a mental health hospital… Most of you only need a good nights sleep, stop watching horror movies and step away from the pen.

I HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH THIS SINCE BEFORE I STARTED WRITING!!! I have more of a right to use these terms than you… You textbook quote back to me what mentally ill terminologies I should use – I have lived this…

No matter how hard I run, it will find me. It doesn’t matter how much I write, it will find a way to my forethought. You play and prey on words to make yourselves out to something you’re not as long as your sane voice is thrown across the internet, well here’s mine – I AM A MENTAL PATIENT AND I AM PROUD OF IT!!

I don’t really live, the people closest to my heart may know this about me, but I shall never go into detail and I will never let them see me on a bad day. It’s called keep people you trust most on the planet at arm’s length and it’s no way to live. And the people who pop in & out of my life believe I am a normal funny, happy everyday person, just like you.

Now I know my words I bring to the wordpress classroom for show & tell are perceived as Angry and Out-of-control, but it helps me deal. Now I am not averse to kicking some ass when needed, but if another SANE person strolls along into my blog, browsing only a few of my words and jumps straight in with pointless words and psychology to point stuff out. (I get enough looking after behind the screen BTW) If I am having a bad-day, I am not going to miss you and hit the computer screen.

Now I write to keep my demons at bay, it does help when you try to exorcise me over the internet.

I am broken, leave the mess be, read my blog and have a nice fricken’ day.

And remember… I am awesome.

Thanks for reading. My outburst has exhausted, now don’t we all feel better.

If you have a problem with anything within this post please comment and I am sure I will get straight back to you with some wonderful butterfly and rainbow words of wisdom and where the hell you can go.

Alex

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Filed under Articles, Author, Blog, Blogging, crazy, Interview, Life, Literacy, Mental Health, Misc, Random, Rant, Uncategorized, Wordpress, Writer, Writing

My Chaotic Carvings


Chaotic logo

Chaotic logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I will no longer slave my thinking, a war upon sanity. Inflict hate when I elicit my illicit pen on all which are affectionate towards my bad black blood pump. One chance to rule this world, I am loosing myself within the moment of monumental moulded monsters I shall muster. No treatments I hand Earth, only disease ridden written miracles; I am mad for medicines. I refuse to stay sober, reuse my pain into reissuing myself another high. My instincts are primal but my guts are in knots, fight or flee?

Finally, I am taking a stand, staring at an ocean of people, a sea of waving hands greets me; I am looking upon my attackers. I was a sandwich sort of a picnic and lost myself in the woods, this is where I was hunted and haunted by these words and found this pen, just lying there, calling to me; now I unleash this pens inner anger character and release myself back into the wilds of vile.

I am dissociating myself from this plane of existence; it’s not meant for people such as me. Haven’t you ever seen a man floating from a page? Believe your eyes, I am omnipotent.

I have a heavy-duty headache, the voices want me to carve into my skull and wheedle out this worm, which sinks in its teeth into the little reality I grasp, so much so, I think I am going to die during sleepy-time. I’ve had enough; I am out of this world; point at the alien and be on your way. Systematically the darkman which lives within my mainframe flicked my self-destructive switch, so every swish is a wish or every scribble is literal, it’s quite simple, you should look past my dimples.

Kneel before my writing! I am singing to crazy, dancing frantically to the feared heartbeat you all own. Count your money, paint on your smiles; I know you are all scared of life. Panic on the streets, an army of psychopaths by my side, we’re coming for the Iron Throne. We come from the darkness to steal you light, I am my mother’s sun; she managed to raise hell in this house. My only cure now is not to dig my way out of reality but slash my way out from this page.

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Filed under Creative Writing, Literacy, Literary Agent, Mental Health, Misc, Uncategorized, Writer, Writing, Writing #2

Trapped Within Me!


Richard Mansfield Jekyll

Richard Mansfield Jekyll (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Help me; I am trapped behind the eyes of a weak man. If I wasn’t tied up and made to witness the humiliation and beatings this body takes, I could conquer all. I am the evil you are waiting for; I am the choke of a lodged chicken bone in your throat, I have never eternally taken anyone’s breath otherwise. I am your alter-ego, a personalized Hyde and Jekyll.

I am biding time, the hope for a crossed-wire or malfunction in his control room. He is boy of the light-walkers and I am a shadow-stroller, can you see our dilemma. Now I know you are sitting there with a mopsical expression spread across your chops while reading this and that is a good thing for me, because one day I will show you something not even your mind could comprehend in any fashion. You are your own worst enemy; this is line where we part, where I push myself to my limits, you sit idly by thinking all will come to you while you sit there within your room reading this. While you are taking baby-steps I am base-jumping.

I am an extremely extraterrestrial extinguished extremist and this world is my chessboard, check-mate for this guy. One day the bars will bend and my escape will swallow his soul and drag him into the war zone I have planned, you can imagine a hell of some sort when I write these words, but where I place him in my memory and imagination as a writer, all his horrors will take pieces home with them.

This is no idiolalla, this is me in the truer of senses; his fingers are the vessels to claw myself word by word into your world, as if I were a fictional character coming to life from the page.

Pootly-nautch that’s all this is. I have seen him listen to people speak negative about him and what does he do? He shows them a smile. I have seen this so-called-man live day by day on perhaps tomorrows and others true dreams. What a fool!

Alex, you will be here forever to look through that glass, just as I sit watching, how ironic. No it wasn’t your fault for your childhood. No it wasn’t you fault when you were on our crossroads crossfire, your friends stole your money so you couldn’t buy food and let you almost starve to death and you let them back into do it again. No it’s not your fault you are weak! Why not step over to the darkside once in a while. You have all the tools you need to make this world pay. Why won’t you learn, these people leave you because deep down you cover me up and you do not wish to uncover this disaster. Ask your friends, family and ex’s. They know you have darkness, so why not show them?

I know you can hear me, Alex…. ALEX!

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The Psycho Writer


English: Animated atomic bomb explosion. Polsk...

English: Animated atomic bomb explosion. Polski: Grzybek atomowy. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What do you know about fear? “Gee-whizz! That bully won’t leave me alone…” Or “In the joint, me and my home-boys have got each other’s backs, cause you never know when an attack will happen.”

How about this?  I was sitting each my dinner in the asylum the other day, next to a guy named James; he was a schizophrenic, this was one of his better days, he was rather quiet. From out of nowhere a guy named Christian, whose conditions escapes me, lunges across the table and ploughs his teeth into James face. Oh yeah, I am really afraid of any of you when this is my life.

I just want to give you a perspective of what I go through and my outcome when I finish a story. All I have is hope; yes I am out now, but for how long before I am dragged back?

My imagination is my only escape; people like you escape with drugs or booze, but I escape within my words. One day I can only hope I will have escaped it all through my stories.

I was sitting in the doctor’s office the other day; my weekly hourly meeting. And from out of nowhere the wall beside us fell away, which was filled with psycho-books and plaques to tell me how much work this dude has done. It revealed a vast deserted desert, humongous icy mountains and a mushroom cloud which licks the background with it reds and orange aftermath.

“What are you thinking about, Alex?” He gentle puts it.

“Nothing, doc’.” I confide in my day-dream.

“You’re thinking of nothing? I really do doubt it.” He tries to slink into my brain.

“Next question…”

I marvel back into my mind, Superman begins to do battle from the sky on hundreds of Aliens; he swoops down and blasts them with his heat-vision.

A slight smirk on my face.

I wanted to give you guys a day in the life of an actual mental patient and creative writer. You see I am not just a run-of-the-mill writer, who has no money and wants fame to rest his soul. I cannot stop this, I never will. I am a mental patient living and sometimes working as a sane person, who wants to be a writer, no biggie’.

But I do admire some of you sane people; you inspire me so much when this world needs you. And to the rest of you, eat me! And always remember there is someone else out there with a life worse than you, I know I do, I know I am not the only one. But you also have no idea of the why I am the way I am. That is a story I take to my grave.

But I would like you to know I have a few more stories I will be passing your way. Someday it will make a great screenplay for a movie but until then I shall take my medication and keep on pretending to be just like you.

Even for reading this, I thank you; you are the eyes I need when mine steer away and bring forth the darkness I never want.

This has been a psychotic announcement.

The creative writer, Alexander Kennedy.

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