Tag Archives: SUICIDE

Goodbye – Duet by Just Patty and Alex Kennedy


Worldwide readers & writers, tonight we have a treat for you, myself and the legendary Just Patty shall be teaming back up to entertain you once more. With our poem “Goodbye” some of the best poetic writing within this post. I hope you enjoy reading just as much as I & just Patty enjoyed writing. LIKE & FOLLOW!

I highly recommend you check out her blog, if you haven’t already because Patty is an awesome writer!–> http://petitemagique.wordpress.com/

Enjoy this final part of our insanely long duet!

Patty, keep your pen busy!

Patty NEW PHOTO2014 Alex kennedy

 

Alex –> https://youngadultfictionblog.com/

Just Patty–>http://petitemagique.wordpress.com/

Goodbye

Duet by Just Patty and Alex Kennedy

I fall by my will and one day I know I will fall,

Caught by my cold-hearted chills,

I’m holding up a window to my soul.

Insomnia mixed with paper-cuts,

Is a formula drink unsafe to gulp,

Calm your nerves you save to cut,

Harm the world, you’ve gave enough,

My target is held and their grave is dug,

I’ve married in hell now we lay in blood,

The amount of times tragedy spellbinds,

My face has turned numb.

Demons in my heart,

Monsters in my eyes,

Feed them your body parts,

Until you’re lying there cross-eyed,

Write about your life,

It teaches you not to fall apart,

We know you don’t force these cries,

They’ve carted you a forestry of lies,

Penny for my thoughts means penny for my rhymes,

Plenty more from this entity with empty empathy,

Pointing the finger and death sentencing me,

If I pick up this pencil no one can eventually end me.

This is payback,

As if I owe you money,

I’m way past irony, it isn’t even funny.

Weather calls for extreme conditions,

The Heavens fall whilst we sit back and listen.

I’m holding my heart over you,

This is the moment of truth,

You’ve stolen my youth,

Now I’m too broken to view,

This picture of me,

I’m holding to you,

A splendid entry in dead-end eternity,

Suicide has in its hooks.

Good…

 

I fall against my will, but with broken wings

Deceived by my darkened heart

I’m holding up a barricade

No one gets in, no one gets out

Nightmares mixed with flashbacks

A poisonous gift from the past

Scream it out, I have had enough!

Sick of Life calling my bluff

I lived in Hell, it’s a peaceful place

Sometimes I can’t even remember my own name

My soul has turned numb

Darkness in my heart

Shadows in my eyes

Dreaming when I’m wide awake

Until you’re lying there all bleed out

Sing about your life

It teaches you not to give up

We know you force these goodbyes

And yet another loved one dies

A look inside my mind will destroy you

Devastating demons crawling through my brain

I can’t even remember the time I was sane

Don’t look at me, I will consume your soul

If Life is just a play, what’s your role?

You can keep all

Owe me nothing

Can you see the irony, don’t you think it’s funny?

Surviving calls for extreme measures

Hell will swallow all whilst we lay down and listen

I have nothing left to give you

Gave it my all

Now I am broken beyond repair

This picture of me

Is not even real

Delusional, optional, I think I will heal

But life was always in vain

Goodbye…

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An Epic Duet: The Beautiful, the Bad and the Psychotic – Part 6 (Final)


Part 6 and final of the duet poem I wrote with my friend Just Patty!

No, no, not the final poem we are going to write together! Hell no! 🙂

I meant the final in this particular series!

To read the previous parts, check out:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

I highly recommend you check out her blog, if you haven’t already because Patty is an awesome writer!–> http://petitemagique.wordpress.com/

Enjoy this final part of our insanely long duet!

Patty, keep your pen busy!

Great poet

Great poet

New me

 

Alex –> https://youngadultfictionblog.com/

Just Patty–>http://petitemagique.wordpress.com/

The Beautiful, the Bad and the Psychotic

Part 6 Final

Alex & Just Patty

I’m a volcano ticking time-bomb,

A tsunami riptide so hang on,

I can solidify your soul with my eyes,

I have blind hope,

I can topple the very skies,

Seeing you through this storms evil eye,

Cyclops.

A spells cast for evil dead,

A lethal weapon aimed at your head,

A lethal injection prescribed as my meds,

You know true evil has no sex,

Through your keyholes you are next,

In deep holes my secrets sleep in kilos,

Heartless without a cage.

Suicide, suicide,

On my mind, all the time,

Every time I close my eyes,

All I think is,

Suicide, suicide.

Reread again, repeat.

All Hell is breaking loose,

Talking to myself,

You’re in my shoes,

I show and tell,

My horror corridor cells,

Again I have broken myself,

Now you know I am telling the truth.

Tiger, tiger, burning bright,

Symmetry of fire within my sight,

When you scratch, feel my bite,

I fit in well, a façade with stripes.

Hunting prey within this grass,

Running away into my grasp,

Clasp the notion whence you dance,

I’ll be back to a no-one,

A serpent upon sand.

I’m a force of positivity

So take my hand and hang on

I can scare the night away

I have blind faith

I can climb every mountain

Swallowing you whole

Dragons

A fiery breath to keep you warm

Sharp claws to defend my treasure

Wings that can fly you right out of here

You know true love has no face

Compassion doesn’t cost a dime

In dark woods I keep my heart

Mindless without shackles

Never give up, never surrender

On my mind, all the time

Every time life breaks me down

All I think is

Never give up, never surrender

Like a broken record

I will fight hell, taunt the Heavens

Talking to you

Lighting the beacons

I show and tell

Breaking down the prison cell

Where you are holding yourself

Captive

Inside your own damned mind

Symmetry of ice, sparkling bright

When you bite, feel my rage

I don’t fit in, never did

A ugly duckling between swans

Swimming in a sea of madness

I will save you from drowning

Save you from yourself

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Falling In Love


holding hands

Falling In Love

I have finally fell in love and it is about to destroy me on this skyscrapers rooftop.

“Please, get back from the edge!” I shout at her unlistening ears. She has her arms open wide, ready to be caught by deaths grip and be auctioned off to the night at half price for her half-life. She is standing in her spotlight from the night’s sky with the idea of stepping down from her stage to end her final act. The moon is laughing at our light.

“Just look at me; just look at me… please.” The tears free fall from my face. The wind pushes against her, whispering warnings of what is to come as it makes her hair whip and dance. Gravity is the middle man within our triangle but bargaining with his power on his edge, results in death. She must remember me as she is still wearing the white dress I had bought her, if she only she took my arm and we take off to pursue life together again, hand in hand before death do us part. Her heart is cheating beats which is slowly killing her, this is the reasoning behind us being here.

“What will I do if you do this?” I ask her. “You will go on without me.” She replies calmly. This is a nightmare. “But the best dreams happen in real life; don’t you want to be part of that?” She turns her head to the misty rain that has begun to lie upon the horizon making everything distort, life is bleaker than the weather.

“If you do this, food will taste like it has been poisoned, water will seem dry and time will have no hands to save you.” She adds to the rain with her tears.

“Life is like a strand of hair, it can be as long as you want or as short as you need it, isn’t that my decision?” She says quietly to the wind. “In sickness or in Health… I said those words to you and you alone; I never backed away from what I pledged!” I plead to her emotions. So why is this happening. I look at my phone thinking about dialing for help but it is already too late. Love is the killer to the heart, not the sword or arrow but used as a weapon against itself.

“We can get the help, the doctor said there was still time.” I say almost giving up. Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing, but bad things soon follow. I throw my sight to the floor, collapsed eyelids and all.

“Come with me.” She wind-whispers to me, I don’t make eye contact; searching for a new answer to our old problem. Thunder murmurs from behind the black clouds which are passing over head. Weather calls for extreme conditions; angels will fall as the world sits by and listens. I nod slowly, holding back the right thing to say. She holds out the hand I have always held, I walk over and take hold, bringing myself up to her new level of living. I look down, the streets seem like mazes for mice and the people are going about their business, unknowingly.

“We shall take on death together.” I say to her, brushing her hair behind her ear. She wraps her arms around me and presses her head against my chest. “I love you so much. Whither thou goest I will go. That is my purpose.” She says. The destruction of my world is true love I gift upon you, dismantling my heart and sharing the pieces equally between us, who could want more? “I love you too.” I say. We tilt to the side within a deep breath of one another. We fall, still gazing into the eyes we wake up to each morning. It still puts a smile on my face. The roar and scorn of the wind rages passed our ear.

“Any regrets?!” I shout. “Not loving you longer.” She replies. Kissing me as the ground creeps closer. This is how you fall into love.

(Thanks for reading. It was an epic story, wasn’t it?)

Keeping my pen busy….

Alex

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My Life! The Mind of a Suicide Risk.


 

Before you jump right in and read this, I wrote this suicide note when I was going to take my own life. What you have to remember is I was not in the right state of mind and I do regret ever even thinking about doing it every day of my life. So precaution is advised. Some things within this note are very dark. But you sane people keep on sending me messages to know what my mind-set I was in, so here it is. I never went through with it, I became something must worse, I became a creative writer. There was about five pages in total, but some bit were very dark to read and too personal to blog. You want to know me? I will make you cover your eyes!

This is my suicide note, my plight for blood and no one can stop me. I’m going to do it this time, turn my world black with one slight slice, so precise.

I wouldn’t expect you to read this, you were never there. My memories are suicide of the mind and every time I relive them I die a little more inside. Hang me by my heartstrings because I have dismantled this beating curse. My mind is the blood that doesn’t want to stay behind the skin; I haven’t dreamt in so long, all these nightmares turn me child-like because under my bed is where hell lives when it’s not in my head.

I am a black flower about to bloom blood.  Big waves from the clouds as I spit down on the ones that have wronged me. Can you ease this pain? This headache is punching its way out from behind this skull, the monster must want loose, and you think you have problems….

Is this a cry for help or a war cry against myself? I guess the pathologist will be the only one who with know the ins and outs of me. I am alone, just like you, only I have now taken my own life into my own hands with my own blade, just for me.

This knife will know me better than anyone else, he will get closer to me than any hug or stern talking too; he will give me my true medicine.

Don’t morn for me; you never did when I was alive so not point starting something that will never help.  They say life is hard so death must be easy, let’s find out the hard way.

I guess I really am a freak to you people, that’s fine; I sleep a little better knowing I am not you.

But I would like to tell you, from these ashes of me, an idea will arise, one more deadly than this world has ever buried. Anabiosis.

So this would be my final thoughts. My weather call for extreme conditions, angels will fall and heaven eagerly listens.

Life, Love and death, most certain to happen at one point or another to everyone, you have no choice in these matters, neither do the Gods nor the devils, you may have a slight influence on when they may occur, but you can never cause these forces to react by your own will.

Alex.

 

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Saved By An Angel – Fiction Story – Part 1


I’m going to jump; throw myself from this bridge into its ripple grim grave. I am done with it all, school life, family life; overall life in general. I haven’t got anyone to fall back on and that is the biggest of killers to me. This is no cry for help because there will be none, no opened hand because I have  never been given one. I know if I do this now my stance as unknown will stay the same on this planet, nothingness nobody because no one is there.

Standing on the concrete guard of the bridge looking down, I came to Harper Leap, not only because of the name but also because no cars use this road, now that the new freeway around our town has diverted traffic. The rain hazes the atmosphere with a hush-hand to cover whatever noise I make when I finally figure out this is a bad idea. Only one street lamp above the bridge will be my spotlight to the fame of the obituary column.

Angel

“What are you doing?” A voice from the side of me sasses.

I jerk my neck in fright to the right.

“I’m going to jump. Don’t stop me!” I snarl at the young man’s direction as he holds up his hands in interference.

“Just trying to do my job before it is too late, that’s all.” He protests to the waters wall.

I take another glance at him; he is a young guy, around eighteen-nineteen, black t-shirt and jeans and black dock martin boots; really raggedy brown hair that curls over his face. He is rather beautiful, even with the huge tribal tattoo down his right arm.

“Who are you? …What do you want?” Instantly he shakes his head.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I am Jack.” He jumps up on the wall, walks over with his hand out to shake; I back away, he may want to drags me away from the edge.

“Jack? Jack who?” I insist.

He wipes the drizzle from his clothes, lifts up his head and with a smile.

“Jack. Your guardian angel, Jack.” He introduces himself with a subtle bow.

“Haha! My guardian angel?  There is nothing you can say that will take me from this plummet.” I look again at my grave.

“Your name is Natalie Wallace; seventeen years, four months and six days old. Every time your mom or dad left you when you were a child you would cry, until you gained self-worth and stopped the tears. Your first crush was on a boy Adam Summers in the third grade but he was interested in your friend Grace Atkins, they are expecting their first child out of wed-lock, neither has finance to look after themselves let alone a newborn; your thoughts not mine. When you watched Jurassic Park you wanted to become a palaeontologist like Sam Neil but when you found out there was little or no money involved you backed away from the idea.”

“Wait… How do you….” He jumps my words. “There is plenty more I can tell you about yourself, I am practically your walking talking invisible diary that only you can see. Neat, huh? Where was I?”

“Enough…“ I finish in shock.

Jack takes one step on to thin air, a few steps out he turns and glides back to me, until we are face to face, land and air.

“Give me a week. One week to show you that suicide is not the answer, one week to show you the real reasons for living.” He picks up one of my tears on his finger that flee down my face; he flicks it from his finger into the sky to make a new star, our star. “There are things that you will want to live for, all you have to do is take my hand and agree to it all.”

I am reluctant, but his eyes melt every inch of sin.

“Am I going crazy?” I puzzle everything with my eyes and hands.

“You would ask that when something supernatural happens and now I am in the position to try to convince you of your own sanity and if I don’t have a good enough answer you will kill yourself and then I have to go back up top and tell them that you thought you were crazy because of everything you’ve seen. And I will be really pissed off because I tried…” He stresses his face in his palms. “How about you trust me even if that means trusting you instincts once? I know you don’t do it often but I know, you know, you should do it more. How about that for a speech? I am awesome and pretty to look at, what’s the worst thing that happens? You get eye strain from staring at me too long and you will become amazed by amazement, sweetie.” He cockily puts it with a smirk.

“Okay, one week. I agree to everything.” With the ending of my words the world pushes a furious wind all around. Jack stands with his arms out wide until he is only a silhouette within the huge moon.

I can only make out. “Your first task is to take a risk and have faith in something more than yourself. I want you to …..”

My hair gets swept into my eyes, leafs newspapers and birds spiral around this tornado speeded wind. “What!” I shoot out.

“Jump to me! I will catch you, Natalie.” He fires back.

“Are you out your friggin’ mind?” I fear over to him. He tipple tails backwards with laughter. “Do you really want to go back ten minutes in our conversation?” I grip on to the concrete guard with my fingers. “It looks like you’re going to need some incentive, ain’t-cha’! Just jump!” He point up into the sky, from the dark pit if the grey clouds a trailer is sent downwards.

“You better jump, missy!” He chuckles.

I lunge for him in fear but also in hope, as if I needed him. His arms open wide along with my mouth in a scream. It all turns black.

My eyes open gradually to this farfetched feeling of dreams and reality and how they betrayal me every single time I wake. I fling the blanket over my head.

“So you talk and snore whilst you sleep, that’s a weird trick to have.” A familiar voice peals through.

I chuck the blanket away from me. Jack is perched on his boots tiptoes on the end of my bed frame, arms folded.

“You’re real?” I chide him.

“Naturally I am, well, unnaturally. It’s a school day today isn’t it? I’m coming with.”

I am about to get out when something doesn’t feel right. I reach my hand under my covers and feel around.

“Why am I naked, Jack?” I grumble. “I couldn’t find any clean pyjamas, Natalie.” He grumbles back as he floats around my room, touching everything from photos to panties. So embarrassing. I quickly wrap and ball up my covers around me and rush into my bedroom bathroom, I shut and lock the door and turn to my bathtub. AAAHHHHHHH! “What are you doing here? Get out!” Jack is sitting on the sink with his nose in my diary. “Nothing I haven’t seen before and besides I am reading, go about your business, don’t mind me, pretend I am not even here.”

“Please get out, I would like to have a shower in peace, wait in my room.” Within an eye-blink he has disappeared from the bathroom. “I’ll just wait right out here!” Jack yelps from my room.

“Okay, don’t go anywhere, I won’t be long.” I tug on the shower cord and jump in and place a hand over my heart, it has never burst with so much excitement ever, for anything.

“I have got you some breakfast and something you can wear for school today.” He reports in his deep accent.

My I-pod-radio begins playing. Two princes – Spin doctors.

“I love this track; it’s been a long time.” What is he doing now? I leap back out the shower and envelop myself within two towels. I open the door and from out of nowhere I am dried and fully dressed in a red dress, a new luxurious hair style, make-up and shoes.

“What’s this?” I retort.

“I thought it would be nice for you to wear this today. Before you say anything, I know you don’t wear these types of clothes but you subconsciously and universally agreed, remember. We can always go back in time so you can relive that moment.”

My bed is full of food from the furthest reaches of the world. Snails, lobster, croissants, berries, squid, rare fruits and slabs of steak.

“Wasn’t really sure what you wanted to eat, so I just grabbed a shopping bag from everywhere and brought it back. If you don’t eat the gooey stuff I would recommend on throwing it away before it kicks up a pong.” He chuckles.

“I have a guardian angel. Why you?” Before I even finished my words he responds. “Punishment, I beat up an archangel cause he was talking smack about someone I care about, so I head-butted him and been doing this ever since as a quote-unquote Fallen Angel. It has its up and downs. You meet some really cool people.”

“Well how long have you been doing this?” I enquire as I sit on my beds edge and nibble on some cake.

“About ten thousand years ago, I was Michelangelo’s guardian angel, as soon as I was finished with him he painted the Popes ceiling. But you can’t save everyone; Kurt Cobain, so close, dude.”

“Why me?” I wonder. “Jack floats over on his belly and pokes me on the nose. “In time all will be revealed, I promise. Hurry up and eat, we’re going to be late for you brand new day at school.”

In the space of ten hours my life has gone from tediously painful at time to the exciting marvel from my mischievous guardian angel. Today at school is going to full of surprises. Here goes nothing.

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